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[alloutoflove]

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a day or two post punching

[dumber]

[ Ethan got apology flowers, he sent literal shit in return— reconciliation was not going well, dear Peony, and one boy from room 001 has yet to return. From getting "roughed up".

The only thing he really cares about in there is her, and being in a room with a guy like that? A messenger slips her a sheet of folded paper, and on it is the sloppy but careful handwriting of a concerned boy. ]

Miss Peony hi it's Ethan
are you ok?

[Just after Ethan's note]

[ringrust]

[Only A COMPLETE SCUMBAG would try to frame an innocent teen for mailing a parcel of horse shit to an innocent woman. Even more so for said woman to be one of the scumbag's best friends. And more still for the scumbag to do that after their last discussion left such a sad rift between them.

Mallory is that scumbag, basically. But as far as he's concerned, it's for a good cause. There's definitely something potentially dangerous about Ethan, and until he fully figures out what it is, he can't put Peony at risk. He didn't do enough to protect her last time, so if he has to stoop to such childish levels now just to get her to avoid the brat, so be it.

And so, instead of his recent habit of trying to avoid her and any of his other roommates at all costs, he's deliberately seeking her out, parcel in hand. He made sure to wrap it back up carefully, masking the scent as best as he could. When he finally spies her, that unmistakable head of bright copper, he swallows down any residual guilt and calls out as casually as he can.]

Yo... Peony!

[alloutoflove]

[ She's definitely noticed his absence -- which, even if she doesn't know him very well, she does know it would be a little odd that he'd be so enthusiastic about helping her out and then completely vanish.

Plus, she is also extremely familiar with Mallory's... everything. So she can guess there's more to "roughed up" than a bit of shoving around.

Her handwriting is much neater, a little bubbly. Kind of like her speaking voice, even if the words are serious. ]

I'm fine.
I've been worried about you.
Are you all right?

[alloutoflove]

[ In the end, Peony has gone back to the profession that brought her fame in the first place: housekeeping.

Which is to say, she's mopping a hallway when he finds her, though the area already looks sparkling. (Maybe to the layman's eye, but the Ultimate Housekeeper is a lot pickier about how she leaves a place.) Her back is to him when he approaches, and there's a definite visible instant when she freezes up at the sound of his voice. She can't even pretend that she could think he was calling to someone else; he says Peony and she turns slowly, looking over her shoulder at him.

The expression on her face isn't quite nervous, but she is wary as she watches him approach. It takes two to make the avoidance game actually work and she's been doing her part as well as he has his; she can't actually guess why he's breaking that stalemate now. ]

...Hi, Mallory.

[ She wishes she could remember his proper name. At least then she could be more passive aggressive in how she addresses him. ]

[ringrust]

[Of course she's cleaning. She cleans even when she's happy, but when she's upset, holy hell is it ever a one-woman war on even the abstract concept of 'mess.' Mal may not know the difference between clean and pristine but he can tell when Peony's really been going at it. That's enough to give him pause, but then she responds and that feeling of guilt claws at the inside of his heart for a hot second.

Even in a world where the Witch has taken away names and the power behind them, Mallory can hear it in her tone. She doesn't want anything to do with him. Of course she doesn't. He wanted her to hate him for everything, didn't he? He should feel relieved.]

Uh... hey.

[He takes a deep breath and steels his resolve once more. He's never noticed the way his voice becomes just a low, calm rumble whenever he puts on his acts, and he doesn't catch himself now.]

I've got something for you. [He hefts the package in his hand, careful not to squeeze it at all.] I sent that kid an apology after all, and he sent this back, but- pretty sure he wants me to pass it on to you. It looks just like the package he wanted to give me to you that day I hit him.

[alloutoflove]

[ Cleaning is nice! Cleaning is soothing. Cleaning is mindless but requires attention to detail which means she can focus without having to actually think much. As he approaches, though, he should be able to see the darker rings under her eyes, and the faint tremor in her hands where she's gripping the mop. She looks exhausted more than miserable. Unlike him, she's not actually trying to hide anything. (Yet.)

And she does notice -- of course she notices. Her laser focus had been Luna, during her time as Despair, his tells and his mannerisms, but she's known Mallory for just as long. It was equally important to get a bead on him and how far she could push him, too -- even before, during their high school days, she'd always known when he was fronting over something.

The fact that he's doing it now, while presenting her with this package, could easily mean a couple of things: one, that he was actually apologetic and embarrassed and trying not to admit that he'd done something wrong.

Or, two, he was trying to set something up. Himself? Her? Ethan? She doesn't know yet. And she can't tell which it is, so she just draws herself up and then holds out her hand. ]

Mm, that's... that's good. Is he all right?

[ringrust]

Yeah, he seems fine.

[Fine enough to give him shit in multiple ways. Which he now gently places into Peony's hand, trying to ignore the drop in his stomach. The feeling of crossing a terrible threshold with no way back.]

How... are you holding up?

[She's been overworking herself after all. No different from Luna. And both of them have the gall to nag him about his leg? Give him a break, here.]

[alloutoflove]

I'm fine!

[ She says that with automatic, thoughtless brightness. Even now, fronting over that question is like second nature to her. She sounds so sincere for just that moment, her lips turning up in an effortless smile.

Most people would even be fooled by it.

Then her nose wrinkles faintly as she looks at the package in her hands. He'd done a very good job at wrapping it, but horse manure is pretty pungent stuff. Hm.

Well, she's still unwrapping it. ]

[ringrust]

Glad to hear it.

[But she's lying, isn't she? This hall wouldn't look like a finely photoshopped ad for the latest sanitizing cleaner if it were true.

Well. It won't be clean for long. He makes a loose fist at his side and watches her unwrap his handiwork. How did he to such a neat job with only one hand? WE JUST DON'T KNOW Ugh. It stinks already... Maybe he'll just hold his breath. In anticipation,
that's all.]

[alloutoflove]

[ In her short eventful life, Peony has been a housekeeper (meant to keep quiet and smile politely and present herself as sweet and chipper and completely unfazed by the world around her, no matter how much rich people drama was going on) and a teacher (meant to be a stern-but-friendly face, someone that her students would both respect and open up to) and Despair (always smiling, always sweet and soft, even as she twisted the knife unseen). All of these things have led up to her being able to keep a completely straight neutral face as she unwraps the package enough to see what it is and as she stares at it.

She hears Mallory take that breath and hold it, but she doesn't look at him yet. ]

...Ah.

[dumber]

I'll be ok! don't worry about that.

[ But— How to approach this without ringing alarms, or making her worry more? His hearts so strangled he feels like going back just to keep an eye on things, but—

Man, what a mess. He had nothing but a scream he didn't even know how to use, he raised a hell of a lot of questions most likely, but— but if it ever came to fighting for more than himself? Something spoke louder. ]

are you still staying in the room? like
meybe can we meet up to talk when your free
I'm sort of bad at writing

[ringrust]

[He expected a yelp, or at least some noise of disgust, or even just letting the package fall from her hands entirely. Even he drew back like it was a venomous snake the first time he opened it. Please, please don't let her subdued response make his lack of shock all the more noticeable.

At least his anger is genuine.]

--Tch. Kid thinks he's real funny, huh? The next time I see him...

[alloutoflove]

[ Ah. He really is a good boy, isn't he? Whatever suspicions Mallory has about him, she can't bring herself to actually believe that there's anything dangerous about him. Not in any way that's an appreciable threat to her. ]

I'm actually working right now, but I could stand to take a break. You could come find me.

[ And under that, she scribbles a set of directions. ]

[alloutoflove]

That's enough.

[ Her voice is flat again, quiet under his anger. It's even more distant than when she'd last spoken to him, before he'd left their room.

She starts to wrap the parcel up again, careful; it won't be enough to completely mask the smell again, but it's something. ]

You really... you didn't have to stoop that low, Mallory.

[ringrust]

Huh?

[No way... He breaks into a sweat almost immediately.]

What are you saying...?

[alloutoflove]

Do you really hate me that much?

[ Now she looks up at him, still more tired than sad. ]

Is it such a bad thing, me making friends with other people...? Because I was Despair once, I'm not even allowed to reach out at all?

[ringrust]

What--? No, of course I don't hate you!

[So it's gone from thinking he just hates being around her to outright hating her? He could almost laugh, just to shake out some of this air that suddenly feels like poison in his lungs.

It comes out instead in an irritated sigh/growling sound.]

Listen, I'm trying to keep you safe! That little brat's hiding something and it could mean trouble for you or Luna.

[dumber]

[ His smile goes cold to the directions, but only for a split second. Okay. You can totally follow directions, Ethan. They're neat and detailed and a five year old could follow them. You can do this. Especially when she's on break just to get a word in— he won't mess it up! Peony deserves nothing less! ]

5 minits!

[ And off he goes— He tries his absolute best to keep to his 5 minute limit. He's on his break day, luckily enough, so he doesn't have to stop what he's doing. He'll appear around the area soon enough, paper in hand. At least his face is its own blinker, there's a bit of a purple spot just under his eye. Maybe dirt, or— yeah. ]

[alloutoflove]

He wrote to me earlier.

[ What does she even do with this. After a moment she starts to walk off, towards where she knows there's a rubbish bin; if nothing else, she trusts him to follow her that far, so she keeps talking when she's no longer looking at him. ]

He wanted to know if I was all right. He was worried about me. It was nice, you know? Someone who didn't know anything about me, being concerned... and being nice to me...

Mm, that was stupid, wasn't it, hoping it'd be that simple.

[alloutoflove]

[ He will find her in a hallway that is ridiculously spotlessly clean. Superhuman levels of clean. It is probably cleaner than even some low-level magic could accomplish. Peony herself has a mop and a bucket, looking more tired than anything. When she sees Ethan she perks up, but the automatic smile on her face melts away into an expression of wide-eyed surprise at the bruise on his face. ]

--Are you sure you're all right?!

[ringrust]

[I was worried, too.

Like saying that now is going to change her mind or anything. He sharply turns his gaze away even as he follows her, even if there are no longer those judging, disappointed eyes on him. Whatever. If she hates him that's fine, but he can't stand the idea of her thinking it goes both ways.]

...Life's never that simple. [They both know that.] A place like this is full of all kinds of crazy shit and things that want to eat you, body or soul... Even if it looks human, you can't trust it right away.

[Even if it looks like an old friend from back in your school days. Ha ha.]

I- I really do think that if anyone should have a second chance at happiness, you should. But I also think you should be careful.

[alloutoflove]

[ Yeah. Yeah, her thoughts go there too: Isn't that what I was? Not that long ago?

As it is, for the first time, there's an actual crack in her voice now, a wobble that can only mean one thing. It's not like it matters; it's not like he has any reason to trust her tears. ]

I was happiest when I was with the two of you. [ If I can't have that anymore, what's the point? ] Even when I was Despair, my goal wasn't the world. It was Luna, and it was you.

[ And since he's the one who brought it up first, she doesn't even hesitate in saying that; surely he also remembers what she was. Is that what he wants? For her to admit her guilt over and over? That's fine. If it means someday -- even if it's years from now -- she can have some scrap of his affection back, that's fine. But for now: ]

If you're trying to tell me I can't have that again, please just do it honestly, next time. I -- I'm an adult, you know, I can handle it.

[ringrust]

[What should be a touching confession only sends a cold tremor through his gut. Even someone corrupted by Despair was focused on him and Luna above all else? Abhorrent.

But it's not her fault, he reminds himself. He's more to blame than she is.

Still, his lip curls in clear frustration and his fist just clenches tighter. She knows he's never been great with expressing his feelings (and ironically he's just as bad at hiding them), and distancing himself after Despair sure didn't help him in that department. But he's been trying, lately, and he's willing to make that embarrassing effort for her, even now.]

The hell are you talking about...? You think that's what I've been trying to tell you? I've been saying the complete opposite- that I want to trust and believe you. [Why can't you believe me?]

You and Luna are practically my family. [Better than that. There's a reason he was so ready to give everything else up and devote his life to them the second they graduated.] All I want is you guys to be happy. [Even if it's together, without him.]

What do I need to do for you to get that?

[alloutoflove]

[ The package disposed, she finally turns back to him -- not entirely, but enough that she can actually look at him. There are tears on her face, though she seems unaware of them for the moment. ]

I don't know what to think. I don't know why you have to -- to do something like that and act like it was for my own good. I don't see you for days [ partly because she'd been avoiding him too, but whatever ] and this is the first thing that happens... what should I think about that?

And not just that... I don't know why you'd care, when you know what I was.

[ You were so ready to deal with me before, she doesn't add, though that hovers uneasily in the air unspoken. There have been a couple of nights where she's woken up with the memory of the weight of his arm over her throat, and she hasn't yet decided if she's more disappointed or relieved that he hadn't gone through with it. ]

I don't know what to think at all, anymore. What am I supposed to do?

[ Her tone goes pleading now, softer than before. ]

[ringrust]

[Don't cry, for starters. Last time he tried to comfort her with a hug it just led into a whole big argument about Luna, and he doesn't want a repeat incident of that. But is coldly pretending he doesn't see any better? Is there a single thing he can do without screwing it up?

He's got such a long, long, long record...

He anxiously rubs at the stump of his arm, though there's no wrist left to snare anymore - even now, he's so certain he can still feel it sometimes, and he hates it. He hates feeling trapped and helpless. Like a cornered dog.]

I don't know. [His shoulders sag a little with the admittance.] Hah. It's not like I'm the person you wanna ask that. [Name one good decision he's made.] Anyway, what's it matter what you were? I know what you were even before that, and that's who's gotta be left if the Despair's gone. Not like someone like me, who keeps bloodying my hands even now.

[But he doesn't want hers on them.]