none of us are free from sin

[alloutoflove]

At some point I uploaded new icons and botched some of my threads. Oops.
Also listen like 95% of this post is extremely nsfw. Double oops.

Stargazing → It's a nice clear night, and even when you live in a big city, there are places to get away and look at the stars. There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight; maybe now's the time to make a wish.

Domesticity → Sometimes domesticity is a white picket fence and two kids and a dog; sometimes it's an apartment that's a little shabby but comfortable; sometimes it's just the people you're with.

What The Housekeeper Saw!! → What. What are you doing. Why are you doing it.

Spoiler prompt: There's a game you play sometimes, when you're acting. "Baby, if you love me, please please smile," you say, and the other person replies, "Baby, I love you, but I just can't smile." If you can make them smile, you win. If you don't, they win. And sometimes you don't even know you're playing the game. END PROMPT

Wildcard!! → Just what it says.

Comments

[alloutoflove]

Aah, well... the thing about Kyousuke is -- mm, well, you know what he's like about things.

[ Stoic, reserved, concerned with propriety, any number of things along those lines. She looks down at his hand on her arm, then lifts her own to cover it with hers. ]

He didn't say so in as many words, no. But I think he does. It's just that he'd never thought about it before. But it's also not like -- this is a weird thing to bring up, isn't it? Our friendship is a lot more important. I know he'd say the same.

But, I mean... if you at all wanted to, you know. We're already this close; I think it'd be... I think it could be good.

[rockyxiii]

Yukizome . . .

[He needs to go full disclosure here. Hearing that their friendship is more important—it'll be okay, right? She won't turn her back on him, will she?

He moves to face her a little more head-on, looking down at their hands.]

—I'm in love with Munakata. I have been for years. Shit . . . I'm so sorry. I never wanted to move in on what you guys have! I never wanted to make it a competition . . . I couldn't stand the thought of you finding out and hating me, or thinking I was going after your man. It's never been like that! But I—I am, and—

I've always loved you as a friend, but lately I've . . . wondered if it might not be more than that.

But I've never liked a woman before. I'm gay, Yukizome. But—when it's you, I can't help but feel like I still want something more than friendship.

[alloutoflove]

A--ah...

[ For a moment she just stares. What else is she even supposed to do? It's one confession after another, and each of them is as big -- bigger! -- than the one she's been inching towards this whole time. Her mouth works silently, though her hand tightens over his; even if she's still processing it, she doesn't want him to let go, or pull back.

Now that she thinks about it, it's not a surprise, is it? He's always ignored every girl except for her, and that was as much because she'd never let him ignore her, pushing and pushing until he was forced to acknowledge her -- but with Kyousuke, he'd been grouchy and defensive, but he'd also given in that much faster.

I should have known. That's the first clear thought she has, and it's... well, kind of humiliating, actually. She'd always prided herself on knowing him so well, being able to read him even when he's closed himself off to everyone else, and somehow she'd never known at all -- and here she'd been crawling over him like that, and he was still at least willing to listen to her--

She manages to smile at last, though it's wavery; even someone who doesn't know her well would be able to see the cracks in it. ]

Oh. Y-you don't... um. You don't need to -- to try, for my sake, you know. You do know that, right?

[rockyxiii]

I-I'm not! It isn't like that, got it? Just . . . listen to me.

[He moves to wrap his arms around her, pulling away from her hand so he can; the last thing he wants is to be the cause of that expression on her face, or for her to feel like this because of him. All he's ever wanted was to make her happy . . . ]

I haven't been. Come on, listen to yourself. Wouldn't be be easier for everyone if I didn't have these feelings for either of you? So—why the hell would I force it just for your sake? If I feel this way, it's because I feel this way! I never asked to have feelings for either of you, but I do!

[alloutoflove]

I--

[ She doesn't finish the sentence, cut off in a startled noise when he embraces her. There's a long moment where she continues to falter, unsure of what to do, and then she lifts both hands to place them gingerly on his sides. He's so warm...

Then she takes a deep breath, and though she tries to be careful, it chokes a little on the exhale. She's still more embarrassed than anything else, floundering still on how to respond. ]

S-so -- but that doesn't mean that we have to... um.

I'm happy with your feelings alone. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me that.

[rockyxiii]

Yukizome, I . . . want to try.

[Maybe she doesn't, though? Now he's uncertain—no, she'd been looking at him that way, hadn't she? Hadn't they come close to something just now?

Her hands feel good and soft on him, and soft isn't usually a thing he likes, no, but if it's her . . . ]

I'm not gonna force you.

[alloutoflove]

I'm about as far from a man as you can get, you know?

[ It's an attempt at humor that falls flatter than she would have liked, but she looks up at him enough to smile again. It's a bit better than the last one, more solid at the edges. With the blanket wrapped around her still, she's a bit more shapeless, but he knows her silhouette well: curved and completely feminine in every way. ]

The last thing I want is for you to force yourself! That's not what this should be about. You're kinder than you give yourself credit for, Sakakura-kun.

[ Should it have been "Juzo"? Is she allowed to switch the address? Would he even like it, if he allowed it? ]

[rockyxiii]

I'm not forcing myself! What do I have to do to make you believe me? Should I carry you to your own damn bed?

[He does, in fact, begin to pull away from her so he can get to his feet. Even though he's coming out blustery and rude now, it's because he's a little more comfortable with things . . . unfortunately.]

If I wanted to say no, I'd say no. You've gotta believe that.

[alloutoflove]

Eh--

[ She makes a disappointed noise when he pulls away to stand, though she doesn't follow him just yet, just blinking up at him from her blanket cocoon. This is a lot more like the Juzo she knows and loves, though now she can't tell if he's just pushed himself into it; he's done it before. ]

You'd say no to everyone except for us.

[rockyxiii]

I'd say no even to you if I didn't wanna try.

. . . Look, Yukizome . . . I can't guarantee how—good I'm gonna be when I've never been with a woman before. So, if it's because you don't want me, I get it. I'm not gonna push you into this.

[He holds out a hand to her, though.]

But I wasn't screwing around. Just now, a minute ago, I wanted you to kiss me.

[alloutoflove]

[ She takes a deep breath -- but then she lifts a hand, slowly but deliberately taking the one he's holding out to her, curling her fingers in a loose grip. This time, finally, when she smiles at him, it's real: small, more self-conscious than usual, but still an actual smile. ]

Everyone has to start somewhere. But if you think you'd like to, I would too.

At least a kiss isn't so bad, right?

[rockyxiii]

[He shakes his head on a little laugh, drawing her up to her feet and into his arms. She's so . . . small . . . ]

It's not like I'm disgusted by women. That's not how I feel. Especially not you.

Munakata's really okay with this?

[alloutoflove]

He didn't say it, but he's only upset that he isn't here with us. He might have pouted some.

[ Kyousuke doesn't pout ever, but you know. The closest approximation of it. Up close like this, Chisa has to lean back a little to see his face, though she stays otherwise as close as possible. ]

Trust me, okay? I wouldn't do this without his blessing either.

[rockyxiii]

. . . I'd like to talk to him myself.

But later.

[Maybe they can video chat him or something tonight over dinner . . . after. Things. After things!

He looks down at Chisa's face, and then—this is fine, isn't it? This is a good time? Juzo hesitates, but then he leans down, bringing his face close to hers, inviting.]

[alloutoflove]

[ She huffs some at that -- honestly, did he really think she'd risk things if Kyousuke didn't approve? -- but she lifts up onto her toes. He's just a little taller than she's used to, and she laughs, slightly embarrassed, as she pushes up further and brushes her lips politely against his. Just to test.]

[rockyxiii]

[She's much shorter than he's used to, too, even if he's been with guys plenty shorter than he is. But other than that, just for now, it's not like a kiss is that different—the difference is just that it's Chisa, and that's a good difference, not a bad one. She feels and smells like herself; it's comforting and enticing no matter how strange things may get. So rather than break the kiss right away, he presses into it a little harder, lingering.]

[alloutoflove]

[ What she smells like is flowers and soap -- clean things, soft things, just like your stereotypical comfortable home. When he pushes a little further, she wraps her arms loosely around his neck to balance herself and then parts her lips. For her, there's not anything vastly different: Juzo's taller, and his shoulders are broader, but he's so familiar that even the kiss doesn't feel as strange as she thinks it should. It's not quite chaste, but it isn't passionate either; it's just... nice. It's pretty close to what she'd thought kissing him would be like, the few times she'd entertained the idea before. ]

[rockyxiii]

[For Juzo, this is possibly the first really romantic-feeling kiss he's ever shared with anyone before, and he likes it; it's true that it's exactly what he'd expect a kiss with Chisa to be like, and that's a good thing. He kisses her sweetly, intent and interested but not passionate or desperate, just feeling it out, tasting her.]

[alloutoflove]

[ Her smile grows and softens in the kiss, as she slides her tongue against his, coaxing him deeper and closer in careful steps. Part of her had worried it would be awkward right up until he'd responded -- it'll still be embarrassing if they can't get further than this, but she's relaxing further as it continues. Maybe he won't actually want to go further than this, but he's a good kisser, and she can absolutely appreciate that.

Finally, though, she shifts herself just a bit closer, until her breasts are pressed firmly to his chest. It's another test of his reaction, just in case. ]

[rockyxiii]

[AH . . . BOOBS . . .

It's not . . . bad or anything. He makes a surprised little sound at the feeling and breaks the kiss, finally, to look down between them at that.]

—Mm. That doesn't . . . hurt, right? Look, let's go to the bedroom, if you still want that . . .

[alloutoflove]

[ She actually laughs a little at that, sinking off her toes to give him space again. ]

They're more durable than that, you know. It'd be different if you were hitting me.

[ That said, it'd hurt no matter where Juzo hits someone. She reaches for his hand, taking it between both of hers. ]

I'm not the one who's trying something new. Not really. So unless I say something, it's okay to assume I'm fine with it. All right?

[rockyxiii]

I was asking if you wanted it, not if you were fine with it.

[Deep down, it's still hard for him to understand why she would ever want him. She already has the perfect boyfriend, and if he weren't enough, she could do better than Juzo. They could both do better than him for a third . . .

But he turns to head back for her bedroom, keeping hold of her hand.]

I don't know what you see in me when it comes to this.

[alloutoflove]

If I didn't want it, do you think I would have called Kyousuke over it? It's not like I don't know a lot of men. I don't talk about any of them with him.

[ She squeezes his hand as they enter her bedroom: meticulously clean, as expected, the lights dim even when she flips them on. And then she stops; her weight isn't enough to keep him in place, but she tugs at his hand, trying to get him to look her in the eye. ]

You're the best friend I've ever had. I've never been afraid of you, and I've never been afraid with you. You'd never let anything happen to me. ...Juzo.

[ She doesn't quite cringe -- it took her a little longer than expected to actually get the guts to say his name, but at least she doesn't stammer it. But if they've made it this far, then it's just weird, calling him Sakakura-kun still. ]

[rockyxiii]

[Ahhhh. He looks down at her, and his heart skips a beat at all of it—the mood, her words, his name on her lips. Juzo nods, wetting his lips quickly, wondering if he can bring himself to say Chisa yet. He feels too awkward at the moment, though; it doesn't feel right yet.

He moves to wrap his arms around her, though, listing in the direction of the bed.]

How . . . long have you felt this way? I never had any idea.

[alloutoflove]

...I don't know.

[ She leans into his embrace easily; the confession is close to blithe, but she softens immediately after. ]

The first time we met, I heard I shouldn't talk to you, because you didn't care about hitting girls and you had a bad temper. But I thought, he doesn't seem that bad! So I did it anyway.

[ She slides an arm around his waist, just hugging him back out of pure affection. ]

I think I've been comfortable with you since that first day.