none of us are free from sin

[alloutoflove]

At some point I uploaded new icons and botched some of my threads. Oops.
Also listen like 95% of this post is extremely nsfw. Double oops.

Stargazing → It's a nice clear night, and even when you live in a big city, there are places to get away and look at the stars. There's supposed to be a meteor shower tonight; maybe now's the time to make a wish.

Domesticity → Sometimes domesticity is a white picket fence and two kids and a dog; sometimes it's an apartment that's a little shabby but comfortable; sometimes it's just the people you're with.

What The Housekeeper Saw!! → What. What are you doing. Why are you doing it.

Spoiler prompt: There's a game you play sometimes, when you're acting. "Baby, if you love me, please please smile," you say, and the other person replies, "Baby, I love you, but I just can't smile." If you can make them smile, you win. If you don't, they win. And sometimes you don't even know you're playing the game. END PROMPT

Wildcard!! → Just what it says.

Comments

[alloutoflove]

[ She's only gone for a minute at the most before she returns, two blankets folded in her arms. One of them looks like the sort of throw blanket you might use normally, but the other looks like it was probably dragged off her bed.

She drapes the first one in Juzo's lap, then bundles herself onto the couch with the latter. This time, though, she thumps herself against his side, a bit more aggressively and openly than the last time. It's all right if she's got the blanket, right? ]

[rockyxiii]

[He leaves the throw there, draped over his spread legs (he's a dude after all), and Chisa's ploy works: when she leans against his side, he puts his arm fully around her shoulders. The blanket does feel like it adds a protective layer that makes it acceptable, somehow.]

Thanks. You didn't miss much. Just a lot of screaming.

[alloutoflove]

I could hear it.

[ She hums when he does that (finally!), snuggling closer until she can put her head on his shoulder. This is much nicer than before; as much as she's still trying to pay attention to the movie, she is drifting a little. It usually takes a lot more concentrated effort to get Kyousuke to do this, so she's going to enjoy it while she gets it. ]

[rockyxiii]

[As awkward and distant as Juzo is, he's also much more physical of a person than Kyousuke is. Once they're well and settled and it's been a while, his hand moves to rub at her side, distracted and aimless, just enjoying the feel of the repetitive motion and her warmth.]

[alloutoflove]

Mmmhh.

[ It's a low pleased sound, caught in her throat. The touch is soothing -- hypnotic, in a way -- and in spite of herself, Chisa finds herself drooping further. By the time the credits are rolling, she's half-asleep, leaning heavily against Juzo's side and breathing slow and steady. She should get up to change the disc, but that involves getting up, which seems like the worst thing right now. ]

[rockyxiii]

. . . Yukizome. I'm gonna carry you to bed if this is how it's gonna be.

[He says it quiet and teasing, lips curving into a warm, fond smile. She's very cute like that. And hey, he did say she needed to take a break. This is a nice break.]

[alloutoflove]

Noooooooooooo.

[ It's a whine, playful as it is petulant, and she tries to wedge herself closer to him, freeing one arm enough to throw it across his waist. And then she yawns, hard enough to bring tears to her eyes. ]

We were gonna do movies, I want to watch movies.

[ But I still don't want to get up, ]

[rockyxiii]

You're not watching anything like this! This is what you get for working yourself to the bone for me this morning.

[Ah, it feels good; he curls his arm to hug her even tighter, letting out a breath. Juzo's never been someone who easily initiates or allows casual physical affection, but that doesn't mean he doesn't want it—badly, even—and it happening now is damn good.]

[alloutoflove]

[ The squeeze pulls a high-pitched noise out of her, involuntary, and she bursts into giggles in immediate response. It's the sort of thing that she wouldn't be able to repeat if she tries, and she wriggles a little in his grip: not because she doesn't like it, but just to see how hard he's holding on. ]

I've worked harder! And longer! But I usually don't do it for someone I like as much.

[ She tilts her head up so she can beam at him, sleepy and smug both. ]

[rockyxiii]

. . . Yukizome . . .

[He looks down at her, captured, and slowly squeezes her again. He'd tell himself he's trying to replicate that silly noise, but that's not really it at all.]

[alloutoflove]

S--Sakakura-kun?

[ In spite of the confidence she'd had that morning, there's something very different about actually being in this position; his name comes out more like a breath than anything else.

Her mouth twitches, like she's trying to smile like she always does, but can't quite manage it, as she stares back. ]

[rockyxiii]

[Shit. How did it come to this?! There's no mistaking what's going on in this moment, and he's still confused as to how it happened, considering everything—

No, no, he can't let her think he'd ever betray Kyousuke. Juzo shakes his head and breaks the eye contact, looking away with a hard swallow. It's more difficult than he expected.]

This—wasn't a good idea. Shit, I'm sorry, I never meant to . . . I'm going crazy, right? Is it just me, or—?

[alloutoflove]

U-um.

[ She doesn't move even when he turns his head, her breath hitching. It's soft, but it's still audible, and she can feel her face going warm. ]

I-it's not -- it isn't just you.

[ And then, because she can make a good guess about what he's fretting about: ] I talked to M-- to Kyousuke, this morning.

[ The name switch is deliberate, and she watches his face closely. ]

[rockyxiii]

You . . . did?

[He's dumbfounded; right now, it's not sinking in yet what that could be about, though he notices the name thing and turns back to her wide-eyed and surprised. What? Had something happened with them—?]

[alloutoflove]

I did.

[ Now it's her turn to look away, dropping her gaze to -- oh, he's shirtless. Oops. She stares at his shoulder instead, her face going red. ]

Just, I've been thinking a little about some -- and I wanted to know how he felt about it, and... ah.

The next time he comes home, we thought, maybe, if you wanted, we could -- you know. Figure things out.

[ Please get it. Please, please get it, because even if she's been thinking about this, and she managed to get it out on the phone, there had at least been the distance. She didn't have to see Kyousuke's face when she brought it up. ]

[rockyxiii]

Y . . . Yukizome, I . . .

[Ohhh. Ohhhhh yeah. Yeah he gets it. His mind swirls; this is all backwards, isn't it?! It's gotten all twisted up and confused, the direction of things, who's hearing this first and how, and who's the one bringing it up, and—

His chest feels hot and tight and prickly with the promise here, but he needs to tell her everything. He can't let her misunderstand his feelings. It's just hard when he's questioning his own feelings himself right now. He doesn't even know where to begin.]

I—yes! I mean . . . maybe. —I need to tell you everything first. I—do you both feel—what are you saying exactly? You both want—to figure things out? M-munakata—? And you also—?

[alloutoflove]

He was a bit surprised, but he wasn't bothered. It was more -- he hadn't even thought it was a possibility. But it's not like we don't -- you know, it isn't as if -- we both care about you.

[ We both love you, but she's not going to say that just yet. His reaction has her backing off a little, though, her head tilted, brows drawing together. The immediate instinct is there to reach out, to try and soothe him, but for a rare once she's just as nervous, and the distance helps to hide her jittering. It doesn't seem like he doesn't want it, but -- what he'd said was... ]

What else did you want to tell me?

[rockyxiii]

You both—I-I'm not asking if you care about me . . . I know you do.

Do you both—want me?

[It still hardly feels real, hearing it from her, all of this happening in this way. But there's one thing he knows: he wouldn't feel right being with Chisa if Kyousuke didn't want him too. And the same's true in reverse, too, but right now he's much more certain of Chisa's feelings on the matter, since she's the one he'd been seconds away from . . . from what? Kissing? Are they going to—?

He's the one to reach out his hand, lightly touching her arm.]

[alloutoflove]

Aah, well... the thing about Kyousuke is -- mm, well, you know what he's like about things.

[ Stoic, reserved, concerned with propriety, any number of things along those lines. She looks down at his hand on her arm, then lifts her own to cover it with hers. ]

He didn't say so in as many words, no. But I think he does. It's just that he'd never thought about it before. But it's also not like -- this is a weird thing to bring up, isn't it? Our friendship is a lot more important. I know he'd say the same.

But, I mean... if you at all wanted to, you know. We're already this close; I think it'd be... I think it could be good.

[rockyxiii]

Yukizome . . .

[He needs to go full disclosure here. Hearing that their friendship is more important—it'll be okay, right? She won't turn her back on him, will she?

He moves to face her a little more head-on, looking down at their hands.]

—I'm in love with Munakata. I have been for years. Shit . . . I'm so sorry. I never wanted to move in on what you guys have! I never wanted to make it a competition . . . I couldn't stand the thought of you finding out and hating me, or thinking I was going after your man. It's never been like that! But I—I am, and—

I've always loved you as a friend, but lately I've . . . wondered if it might not be more than that.

But I've never liked a woman before. I'm gay, Yukizome. But—when it's you, I can't help but feel like I still want something more than friendship.

[alloutoflove]

A--ah...

[ For a moment she just stares. What else is she even supposed to do? It's one confession after another, and each of them is as big -- bigger! -- than the one she's been inching towards this whole time. Her mouth works silently, though her hand tightens over his; even if she's still processing it, she doesn't want him to let go, or pull back.

Now that she thinks about it, it's not a surprise, is it? He's always ignored every girl except for her, and that was as much because she'd never let him ignore her, pushing and pushing until he was forced to acknowledge her -- but with Kyousuke, he'd been grouchy and defensive, but he'd also given in that much faster.

I should have known. That's the first clear thought she has, and it's... well, kind of humiliating, actually. She'd always prided herself on knowing him so well, being able to read him even when he's closed himself off to everyone else, and somehow she'd never known at all -- and here she'd been crawling over him like that, and he was still at least willing to listen to her--

She manages to smile at last, though it's wavery; even someone who doesn't know her well would be able to see the cracks in it. ]

Oh. Y-you don't... um. You don't need to -- to try, for my sake, you know. You do know that, right?

[rockyxiii]

I-I'm not! It isn't like that, got it? Just . . . listen to me.

[He moves to wrap his arms around her, pulling away from her hand so he can; the last thing he wants is to be the cause of that expression on her face, or for her to feel like this because of him. All he's ever wanted was to make her happy . . . ]

I haven't been. Come on, listen to yourself. Wouldn't be be easier for everyone if I didn't have these feelings for either of you? So—why the hell would I force it just for your sake? If I feel this way, it's because I feel this way! I never asked to have feelings for either of you, but I do!

[alloutoflove]

I--

[ She doesn't finish the sentence, cut off in a startled noise when he embraces her. There's a long moment where she continues to falter, unsure of what to do, and then she lifts both hands to place them gingerly on his sides. He's so warm...

Then she takes a deep breath, and though she tries to be careful, it chokes a little on the exhale. She's still more embarrassed than anything else, floundering still on how to respond. ]

S-so -- but that doesn't mean that we have to... um.

I'm happy with your feelings alone. I'm glad you trusted me enough to tell me that.

[rockyxiii]

Yukizome, I . . . want to try.

[Maybe she doesn't, though? Now he's uncertain—no, she'd been looking at him that way, hadn't she? Hadn't they come close to something just now?

Her hands feel good and soft on him, and soft isn't usually a thing he likes, no, but if it's her . . . ]

I'm not gonna force you.

[alloutoflove]

I'm about as far from a man as you can get, you know?

[ It's an attempt at humor that falls flatter than she would have liked, but she looks up at him enough to smile again. It's a bit better than the last one, more solid at the edges. With the blanket wrapped around her still, she's a bit more shapeless, but he knows her silhouette well: curved and completely feminine in every way. ]

The last thing I want is for you to force yourself! That's not what this should be about. You're kinder than you give yourself credit for, Sakakura-kun.

[ Should it have been "Juzo"? Is she allowed to switch the address? Would he even like it, if he allowed it? ]